Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.
I never knew the kid at School had Autism, I always just thought he was walking into cobwebs. 🤔
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was “She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife reply’s “Change the damn diaper you idiot.”
Why can’t orphans play poker because they don’t know what a full house is
Just because she weighed as much as two women...
Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out boys 2 men wasn't a delivery service
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.
Little Johnny's sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, "That is my garage". The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?" Suzy says, " Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet but she didn’t listen...
What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?
Can you show me what rape is
A white dude walks up to a muslim and says "so you're an indian?" and the muslim says "no brotha, i'm not 7 eleven i'm 9/11"
When the school shooter says "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
A girls walks into an Adult Store. "Hi I want to buy that Red Dildo right there"
Cashier: that's a Fire Extinguisher you whore"
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan nah jit trippin you thought i had one
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever, and his friend asked did you get any head and the guy said no I couldn't find it.
i once called a depressed guy why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone (im not englishs so i could've talked bad)
