A white dude walks up to a muslim and says "so you're an indian?" and the muslim says "no brotha, i'm not 7 eleven i'm 9/11"
A girls walks into an Adult Store. "Hi I want to buy that Red Dildo right there"
Cashier: that's a Fire Extinguisher you whore"
i once called a depressed guy why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone (im not englishs so i could've talked bad)
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out boys 2 men wasn't a delivery service
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan nah jit trippin you thought i had one
When the school shooter says "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever, and his friend asked did you get any head and the guy said no I couldn't find it.
My girl friend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl she said I was cheating but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair
Hey dude can you speel ihop. Sure man. I H O P. Wait you ate my pee!!!
Why do people misplace the 9/11 with emo kids? They both have a high death count.
Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it
A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m. and his wife is livid. "You swore that you'd be home by 11:45!" "No," slurs the mathematician, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."
A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read "Hey im sorry i had to tell you like this but i have been doing your wife for months now" The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying "Sorry meant using your wifi"
Why did a woman believed she was a target ? She had a price tag without any value to it?
My last relationship ended because my ex girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset, to be honest I didn't like her anyway, she kept telling me I never listen, or something like that
me: so you two girls are from England girls: wales me: oh i see, so you two whales are from England
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly she did drugs. So one day I go up to her and say “Mari-juana do this????” She later asked me to leave forever..... I don’t gnome why but... it CRACKed me up abit!!!
Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.
16. Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
