Misunderstanding Jokes

I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth, it's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet

What did the doctor say to the chinese patient? Sum ting wong

I'm so mad I got arrested for rape even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute but how was I supposed to know she never told me.

This is NOT my joke i found it on google its a texting joke Mom:Son youre grandma just passed away LOL Son:mom what do you mean LOL that means laughing out loud Mom:oh no i thought that meant lots of love i have to text everyone back!!!!

Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam

Doctor: Yup

Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger

Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor

while undressing a woman, she told me she has aids, i told her she cant catch it twice but she still kept screaming

It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure

Son:DAD DAD OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!

Dad:WHATS WRONG ARE YOU OK?!

SOn:MIA ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE ON FEBRUARY 30th

Dad:Cas theres no february 30th?

A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.

I think she was pulling my leg.

When deaf people people see someone yawning do they think their screaming

I never knew the kid at School had Autism, I always just thought he was walking into cobwebs. 🤔

A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was “She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife reply’s “Change the damn diaper you idiot.”

Why can’t orphans play poker because they don’t know what a full house is

Just because she weighed as much as two women...

Doesn't mean you had a threesome.

The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true

A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”

By:Xzavier