Misunderstanding

Misunderstanding jokes

Wordplay

    • Officer sees a man and he is seeing he is having trouble walking, so he asked him, "Sir, are you drunk?" The man responds, "No, sir, I'm not drunk." So the officer asks, "How high are you?" And the man responds, "No sir, it's 'Hi, how are you?'"

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    • Trampoline

    • My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

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    • Broken finger

    • A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says, "Okay, I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts." So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says, "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says, "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop.

    The doctor says, "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me?" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."

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    • Misunderstanding memes

    Hunter

    • Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says, “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies, “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies, “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent, and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says, “Ok, now what?”

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    • Adolf Hitler

    • I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler.

    He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted “Hi Hitler” and gave him a little wave.

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    • Dictionary

    • I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

    ...so I threw a dictionary at him.

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    • Test

    • I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.

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    • Sentence

    • Fritzchen was supposed to remember three sentences. He asks his mother, "Mom, do you have any news?" The mother replies angrily, "Stop it!"

    Fritzchen goes to see his father, who is watching a football match. When a goal is scored, he shouts, "That's it!"

    Finally, he asks his sister, "Sister, do you have anything to say?" She is currently reading a story about a fool and says, "He is the dumbest person in the world!"

    The next day at school, the teacher asks, "Fritzchen, did you learn the phrases?" Fritzchen replies, "Stop it!" The teacher is shocked: "Fritzchen! Don't say that to me. Go to the principal immediately!" Fritzchen shouts, "That's it!" Arriving at the principal's office, he asks, "Who do you think I am?" Fritzchen promptly replies, "He's the dumbest person in the world!"

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    • Base

    • The coach yelled at me when I stole home. I ran home with the base and asked him where to put it.

    Hunter

    • Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

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    • Bag

    • My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(

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