Miss jokes
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.
Someone stole my balls :(
My wife still misses me... But her aim is getting better!
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!
Stormtroopers, I guess they never miss, huh?
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
What do Nemo and Emily's dad have in common? They both can't be found.
I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
No Body Knows.
No body nose.
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
When you're the only one bullying the weird kid and you're absent on the day he shoots up the school. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"