Miss

Miss jokes

MISSING MISSING!!! 😢😢

NAME: PRUNO PENANDES 👍🤝

MISSING: 27/6/21 VS BELGIUM 🤔🤔

LAST SEEN: DIVING AT OLD TRAFFORD, CRYING TO REFEREES🤬😿

POSSIBLE LOCATIONS: PENALTY SPOT🥅

"GIVE ME PENALTY”🤬🤬

"I ONLY STATPAD AGAINST FARMERS MY FRIEND"😁😁

I left Twitter for a while, and when I tried to log back in, I found out I was suspended. I realized it was a penalty for saying some prohibited words on Twitter.

Sadly, my idol Pristiano Penaldo took the penalty for me and he missed, and now I'm on my alt. Shame on you, Penaldo!

MISSING!!

MISSING!!

Name: Ghostiano Penaldo

Missing: 27/6/2021 vs Belgium

Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty".

Last found - Practicing tap ins.

Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, Parma, Crotone.

Might be dangerous towards good players.

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.

Miss you dad.

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    • You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.

    Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.

    Kobe missed a lot of shots, but he sure didn’t miss the mountain.

    Y'uree: Bruh... listen... gangbang... sex... the same.

    Halyei: Hello Y'uree and Jarod. How are you guys today?

    Y'uree: Well, sexy girls like you should be ass-fucked or fucked so hard that all you can do is talk or nothing at all?

    Halyei: Thank you, I suck dicks too!

    Jarod: Are you Breya???

    Halyei: No... do I look like that flying bastard???

    Jarod: Ugh... no... baby, you're free to go!

    Halyei: Sorry, I miss cursing and having sex with her too! Sorry for being an idiot. I really miss her. Maybe you and I can give her a threesome??? No, I'm not gay! WHY!!!!!!! Can you come to the please fuck me! It's the fuckable girls contest and I want to win! Sorry!

    So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.

    Just before lockdown began, a woman took her 15-year-old son Tom, and 14, 16, and 18-year-old daughters Sally, Mary, and Annie and went to the family cabin in the mountains to wait it out, while her husband stayed in town as an essential worker.

    The weekly family Zoom call went well enough...until the 8th week when the father noticed the 14-year-old was looking a little...plump. By the 20th week, the 16-year-old’s shirt was starting to pull taut over her tummy, by the 25th the curve of the 18-year-old’s belly was rising over the edge of the table her laptop was perched on, and by the 30th week his wife and all 3 girls were very obviously 6 months pregnant, and the poor 14-year-old was so huge she was obviously having triplets.

    So the father waited until he’d talked to his son and daughters, and asked if he could talk to his wife alone.

    “Look, I know you and the girls are all pregnant. I’m not mad, I just want to know how it happened. We don’t have any neighbors up at the cabin, did you break quarantine and invite some hikers in, or go into town for supplies?”

    She started crying. "No, Tommy's the father! I'm so sorry, I never meant for it to happen, but it's been so lonely here without you....I walked in on him jerking off and just couldn't help myself! And Annie's been missing her boyfriend at college, and it....it just sort of got out of hand."

    "It's okay sweetheart, I forgive you. You've been isolated for months, up there."

    She wiped her tears away. "I can't believe how understanding you're being about this. When we get home I'm making you the best steak and lobster you ever had! I know you aren't eating well, I was looking at the bills on Amazon Prime and saw you ordered a 45-pound pail of peanut butter!"

    He looked down under the camera line, under his desk. He wasn't wearing pants, and the family dog was still licking his dick. "These things happen."

    Parents: Let's have a bonfire.

    Me: Let's go to the orphanage.

    Parents: To bring other children?

    Me: No, to have the fire.

    Parents: Won't they be missed?

    Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.

    Prince might be with a new girl, but he still wants Gwen, who doesn't? Other half.

    Gwen on the phone with Prince: Prince, stop sending me letters, poems, and memes through Gmail. We broke up, it's over!

    Prince on the phone with Gwen: I know, but that new girl that I been seeing is not you! I miss you a lot! Please come back to me.

    Gwen on the phone with Prince: I'm gonna hang up now!

    Prince on the phone with Gwen: PLEASE DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Gwen on the phone with Prince: Sorry, I can't hear you...you're breaking up...what?!

    Prince on the phone with Gwen: Gwen! DO NOT HANG UP !!!!!!!!

    Gwen on the phone with Prince: Okay...bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Teacher to Student: You are supposed to be here at 9 am!

    Student: Oh, did I miss anything?

    So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"

    Okay, I'm so sorry, Alya, and Drew. I didn't mean to say that you guys were stupid and cringy. I mistyped. Can you guys forgive me by any chance? I'm so sorry :(

    Why are vaginas and the Mariana Trench similar? Lots of seamen go missing there.

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    • If you take a shot, a paper wad, in the trashcan, and call "Kobe!" but miss, it's still a Kobe.

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