Miss jokes
My Dad went for some milk. He never came back :)
When I mist, I miss.
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
Whoever took my dildo,
I hope you're having a good time.
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...
In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say it’s their harsh, economic expansion that’s unapologetic to the environment.
My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.
People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.
I adopted you. Now say goodbye, you missed your Spanish lesson...
Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."
Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"
Guy: "Yup"
Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"
Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay?
Because the teacher said she missed all her periods.
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.
Student: OOFT.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"
"No, it's 26."
"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."
"You're missing one more."
"I'll give you the D later."
"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."
I only kidnapped orphans because they have no parents to report them missing.
One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.
When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.
Serves him right.
Mississippi girls are missing a "pp."
I miss school so much.
I miss playing baseball.
Hi, I did not get your walk.
Like if you are in high school and miss school!