Mirror jokes

What do you call a dad in the mirror?

(Your imagination.)

Your forehead is so big your inner thoughts echo.

My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.

My wife is like a mirror.

I can never look at it.

I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.

If you looked in the mirror, you would see an ugly person, which is you.

Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!

The mirror says: "If you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck."

The Magic Jewel says: "If you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck."

The condom just sitting there laughing.

I must have at least 87 years of bad luck; every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!

I looked in the mirror yesterday. I still have nightmares...

A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died.

The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!"

He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something.

Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"

Me: You stupid. Guy: You straight. Me: Sorry, I'm not a mirror.

You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.

Dwarf: pulls down the flap for the mirror.

Also dwarf: can’t see.

I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.

My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"

Yo mama so ugly, she looked in the mirror and it broke.

Me: Your ugly...

Person: I'm not your mirror...

Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p

Your hairline is so bad, when you look in the mirror, your hairline looks like an endangered species.

Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!

Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.

Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?

Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.

Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.

Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.

Brother 2: You monster.

Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?

Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.

Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.

Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!

Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.

Brother 1: Found them.

*imaginary mother and brother fade away*

Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.

Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.