Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?
Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.
So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.
An orphan and a homeless man get into a fight, so he yells in a mirror.
Knock, knock? Who's there? A mirror, I'm lonely.
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.
Yo mama so fat that when she looks into a mirror, it always shatters, because her weight could be felt all around.
Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.
I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.
What do you call a dad in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
Your forehead is so big your inner thoughts echo.
My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.
My wife is like a mirror.
I can never look at it.
I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.
If you looked in the mirror, you would see an ugly person, which is you.
Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!
The mirror says: "If you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck."
The Magic Jewel says: "If you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck."
The condom just sitting there laughing.
I must have at least 87 years of bad luck; every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!
