Mirror jokes

Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.

A telescope has two uses:

1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.

Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.

Take a step back... just like your hairline did.

When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?

Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.

I took a plane to go see my hairline.

Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.

The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.

Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.

On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.

This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!

Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.

Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.

My friend said, "Where is the trash?" I said, "Look in the mirror, there is the trash."

I am a God. Na, na, na, na, na, na. Yeah.

She's got makeup by the mirror in her bedroom, Thigh-high fishnets and some black boots, Nose pierced with the cigarette perfume, Half dead, but she still looks so cute. She is a monster in disguise, And she knows all the words to the trap songs, Takes pic's with a cherry-red lipstick, Says she only dates guys with a big..., mmm

One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.

Repeat after me...

Me: "You have a weird style."

Mom: "You have a weird style."

Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*

Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.

My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.

You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.

You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.

I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.

Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, they don't laugh.