Vanity jokes

My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.

Yo mama is so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.

When you look in the mirror, the mirror cracks.

Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?

Pretty nuts!

You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.

If you want a joke, look at yourself in the mirror!

Want another joke? Look in the mirror.

I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.

Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?

What’s a pedophile’s favorite shoe? White vans.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd get in the van if I were you...

I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...