Milk jokes

Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.

Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?

Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.

What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?

The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.

What is the difference between a cow and a chicken?

It's white and it's brown.

What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant non-bi dairy?

When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?

Batter.

Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.

What’s the difference between milk and the air?

At least the air will always be there for me.

I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?

My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.

What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.

Sharb Glarv Jug jug Milky Jar jar Pobbies Mm yum yum Rawr Big pooboes.

Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.

My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?

Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!

What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?

A milkshake.

I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.

Q: What kinda bees give milk?

A: Boobees.

Big mummy milkers...

The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.

He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.