Milk

Milk jokes

Santa

Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.

He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.

Orphan

Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?

His parents never brought back the milk.

Pastor

The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.

He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.

Dad

Girl: Dad, where are you?

Dad: I went to go get milk.

Girl: But we have milk.

Dad: I know, I just don't love you.

Memes

Orphan

Why do orphans have water with their cereal?

Because the dad never came back with the milk.

Hairline

Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.

Kid

Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.

Mum: And that is?

*Kid walks out.*

*Kid comes back in with milk.*

Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!

Dad

What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?

Santa got the milk.

Dad

What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.

Hairline

Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.

Female

What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?

A sexy female.

Orphan

Why do orphans have dry cereal?

Because they're still waiting on the milk.

Cow

Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?

She got tired of jumping over the moon.

Dad

What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?

"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."

Difference

What’s the difference between a cow and Hitler jokes?

You can’t milk the cow after 12 years.