Milk jokes
Q: What kinda bees give milk?
A: Boobees.
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.
He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.
Girl: Dad, where are you?
Dad: I went to go get milk.
Girl: But we have milk.
Dad: I know, I just don't love you.
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the milk.
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
How is your cereal? Oh, wait.
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
What type of bees give milk?
Boob-bees.
What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?
A sexy female.
Why do orphans have dry cereal?
Because they're still waiting on the milk.
you.
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?
"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."