Milk

Milk jokes

Tit

I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.

Orphan

Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?

His parents never brought back the milk.

Hairline

Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.

Orphan

Why do orphans have water with their cereal?

Because the dad never came back with the milk.

Dad

Girl: Dad, where are you?

Dad: I went to go get milk.

Girl: But we have milk.

Dad: I know, I just don't love you.

Memes

Pastor

The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.

He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.

Dad

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

Santa

Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.

He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.

Kid

Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.

Mum: And that is?

*Kid walks out.*

*Kid comes back in with milk.*

Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!

Female

What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?

A sexy female.

Orphan

Why do orphans have dry cereal?

Because they're still waiting on the milk.

Dad

What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?

"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."

Cow

Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?

She got tired of jumping over the moon.

Orphan

You know what orphans and I have in common? Our dads both left for the milk.