Milk jokes
You know what orphans and I have in common? Our dads both left for the milk.
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.
He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."
But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"
Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."
Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?
Daddy never came back with the milk.
Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."
Kid: "OK THANK YOU."
(AT BED TIME)
Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"
Ben: "I'm not."
(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"
Dad: Son, I came back.
Son: Where is the milk?
Dad: Time for another 10 years.
when your mom finds out you pour milk before cereal
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
Why did the orphan like milk?
Because their parents went to get milk and never came back!
Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?
Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
Why do orphans only drink water in cereal?
'Cause Dad never brought home the milk...
Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.
Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?
Because daddy never came back home with the milk.
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.
My dad went to go get milk.
What do you call an amazing goat?
A goat-zing.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!