Milk jokes
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
I got udder jokes too.
What is a meatball without spaghetti? A cow.
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.
Your mom after your dad left and never came back with the milk
I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
Pop a choccy milk!
What kind of bee makes milk?
Boo Bees
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.
Cereal.
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.
He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."
But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"
Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."
Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
I once went to the bar for a pint, but the strippers there didn't have that much breast milk.
What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.
Cheese, gimme cheese!
(inspired by a friend)
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
Why did the orphan like milk?
Because their parents went to get milk and never came back!
I have a cow over at my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor, so my family forced it to come and live with me at my place.
The cow asks me, "Where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat?" I tell her, "In the refrigerator! Where do you think I keep them, on the farm with all the rest of those cows?"
That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed. Then she started getting high and drank some cow wine with titty milk, and it made her shit all over the bed.