Mental Health jokes
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
What do you call a group of emo people?
"The Suicide Squad."
Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.
Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
If an emo doesn't get better by Christmas, Santa's reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year.
The fourth month (symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.
That day is called "April Fool's."
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
What’s the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
Imagine there’s a funny joke here. Imagine it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you’re schizophrenic.
Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.