Mental Health jokes
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
What do you call a group of emo people?
"The Suicide Squad."
Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.
Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
If an emo doesn't get better by Christmas, Santa's reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year.
The fourth month (symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.
That day is called "April Fool's."
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
What’s the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
Imagine there’s a funny joke here. Imagine it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you’re schizophrenic.
Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.
What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck.
I wish the grass in my yard was emo. It could just cut itself.
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
85% of us are good at school, while the other 15% is good at suicide.
(Teach me your ways, 15%.)
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it had too many emotional holes.