Mental Health jokes
A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."
What was Kurt Cobain's biggest flaw?
He had a short temper and lost his head over everything.
My anxiety has anxiety.
They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?
POV: You keep having auditory hallucinations and fully believe your house is haunted because you never went and got diagnosed for schizophrenia.
Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.
I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.
I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.
My therapist said I have trouble letting go of the past. So I killed him.
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
Hello, it is the suicide line. Just keep hanging.
Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!
Looking in the mirror, I don’t need a therapist, god damn, I wanna be a terrorist.
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
Guys, should I do it? You know what I mean.