Mental Health jokes
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.
I sexually identify as kilometers per second.
Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).
What jumps higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
Like if depressed.
what's flat and great for cutting? me.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
What do you call an emo friend group?
The Suicide Squad.
What is my most popular side of myself?
Suicide.