Memory jokes
Patient: "I'm starting to forget things."
Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"
Patient: "What condition?"
Why did Jimmy throw the clock out the window? Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who knife-raped his wife.
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I've never heard them.
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I never knew them.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
I'd tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Steve!"
"Steve who?"
Steve cries, aware that his grandmother's Alzheimer's has reached a point where she can no longer remember him.
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.
"Let go of my nose!"
My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.
I couldn’t quite remember how to catch a boomerang, but eventually it hit me!
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
A stab wound.
A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.
The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"