Memory jokes

Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.

Two girls have a sleepover.

Karen: Let's go to bed.

Lauren: Fine, but it's early.

*Karen wakes up and exits room*

*Lauren hears noise*

Mikey: You're so much better than my girlfriend, Karen.

Lauren: *laughs*

Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother, Mikey*

He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"John."

"John who?"

John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.

Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"

An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.

I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"

I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"

My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death, so we smoked his ashes.

I wanna ram your PCIe slot.

I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"

I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"

How do goldfish know when to eat?

They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.

1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."

I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...

Good news is, I got one sick selfie!

Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.

Will you remember me in 7 years?

(Yes)

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Sugar Honey Ice Tea.

I FORGOT MY JOKE!

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but it eventually came back to me.