Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death, so we smoked his ashes.
I wanna ram your PCIe slot.
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sugar Honey Ice Tea.
I FORGOT MY JOKE!
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but it eventually came back to me.
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little?
Me: My sister.
SWEET HOME ALABAMAA
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
