Memory jokes

Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”

So I was digging in the garden and I found some treasure. I was gonna tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging in the garden.

"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."

I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.

"Let go of my nose!"

Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.

I will never forget my grandfather's last words:

"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"

Wow, my own joke. Category: I problem won’t remember this.

How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?

My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.

I had amnesia once... maybe twice.

I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.

Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"

I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."

My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.

I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"

I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"

One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb?"

The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."

I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?

Where's my sister's friend? Oh, I forgot, we are in Alabama.

Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?

Friend: What?

Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.