Memory jokes

One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.

Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.

My ex.

A cop pulls over an old man.

The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

The old man said, "No."

USA: "Never forget 9/11."

Brits: "What happened on the 9th of November?"

I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"

"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"

"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"

"Oh, hey, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"

I remember you. You used to be an ash.

I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.

I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."

Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"

What makes a software developer feel rich?

Their cache.

I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.

"Let go of my nose!"

I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"

In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.

I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...

Good news is, I got one sick selfie!

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.

Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2.

He never talks about it.

Technoblade

I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"

Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.

If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.

Elephants never forget.