Memory jokes

So I was digging in the garden and I found some treasure. I was gonna tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging in the garden.

Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”

"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."

I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.

"Let go of my nose!"

"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."

I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.

I had amnesia once... maybe twice.

I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.

Wow, my own joke. Category: I problem won’t remember this.

I will never forget my grandfather's last words:

"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"

Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.

How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?

My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.

Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"

I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."

My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.

I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"

I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"

One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb?"

The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."

What do 9/11 and gender have in common?

They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.

I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?