Memory jokes
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
My ex.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.
What is a nudist's least favorite holiday?
Memorial Day.
Why?
Because wearing a poppy can be very painful.
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
My uncle died in 9/11. He was in the plane that crashed in the field.
I wanna ram your PCIe slot.
I remember my grandfather's last words: "Is that loaded?"
What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Their kneecaps.
I couldn’t quite remember how to catch a boomerang, but eventually it hit me!
Wow, my own joke. Category: I problem won’t remember this.
Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.
Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?
Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!
Grandma, I can’t believe I have Alzheimer’s.
One second later, Well at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s.
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.