My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death, so we smoked his ashes.
I forgot the joke.
A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."
I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
My name is Joe Biden, and I forgot this message.
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"
Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
Your hairline goes so far back it remembers the big band.
Two girls have a sleepover.
Karen: Let's go to bed.
Lauren: Fine, but it's early.
*Karen wakes up and exits room*
*Lauren hears noise*
Mikey: You're so much better than my girlfriend, Karen.
Lauren: *laughs*
Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother, Mikey*
