A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say "Thank God" and to stop the horse, to say "Hallelujah". The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled "Hallelujah" and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said "Thank God".
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say "forgive and forget". They are really obedient.
I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
Me: Do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?
Bank teller: [eyes wide] Uhhhhh...
Me: *scratches head with gun* Man, I hate it when this happens.
When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...
I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
Don't worry, Stephen Hawking isn't dead.
They have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a USB.
I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."
"Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" "It's Dave!"
"Dave who?"
Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
THIS IS A RHYME
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.
Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,
and they had a little fun.
Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂
I visited the 9/11 memorial, that was bomb just like the towers.
Can we stop talking about 9/11? My dad died, man, but he was a good pilot.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
