Memory jokes
Your hairline goes so far back it remembers the big band.
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.
Two girls have a sleepover.
Karen: Let's go to bed.
Lauren: Fine, but it's early.
*Karen wakes up and exits room*
*Lauren hears noise*
Mikey: You're so much better than my girlfriend, Karen.
Lauren: *laughs*
Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother, Mikey*
An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"
The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."
The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"
The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"
If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.
Elephants never forget.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!
I will always remember my dad's last words....
"15 dollars and I'll jump."
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
in can re;ate to this its always going through my mind
All these jokes really hijacking my mind.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Di.
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm, this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm, this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."
Two boys are talking on the bus.
Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?
Boy 1: Oh, that's right.