Memory jokes

Two girls have a sleepover.

Karen: Let's go to bed.

Lauren: Fine, but it's early.

*Karen wakes up and exits room*

*Lauren hears noise*

Mikey: You're so much better than my girlfriend, Karen.

Lauren: *laughs*

Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother, Mikey*

I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"

If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.

Elephants never forget.

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!

I will always remember my dad's last words....

"15 dollars and I'll jump."

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

in can re;ate to this its always going through my mind

All these jokes really hijacking my mind.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Di.

Di who?

See, easily forgotten.

Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."

Boy: "What's that?"

Grandpa: "What's what?"

I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"

Why are there more female history teachers than male?

Because women like to bring up the past.

What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.

Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.

I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...

Good news is, I got one sick selfie!

I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...

Allahu Akbar!

I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.

A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm, this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm, this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."

Two boys are talking on the bus.

Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.

Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?

Boy 1: Oh, that's right.

My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.

I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”