Memory jokes

Your hairline goes so far back it remembers the big band.

Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.

In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.

Two girls have a sleepover.

Karen: Let's go to bed.

Lauren: Fine, but it's early.

*Karen wakes up and exits room*

*Lauren hears noise*

Mikey: You're so much better than my girlfriend, Karen.

Lauren: *laughs*

Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother, Mikey*

I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"

If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.

Elephants never forget.

I will always remember my dad's last words....

"15 dollars and I'll jump."

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"

in can re;ate to this its always going through my mind

Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."

Boy: "What's that?"

Grandpa: "What's what?"

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Di.

Di who?

See, easily forgotten.

All these jokes really hijacking my mind.

Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.

I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...

Allahu Akbar!

I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.

A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm, this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm, this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."

Two boys are talking on the bus.

Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.

Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?

Boy 1: Oh, that's right.

I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...

Good news is, I got one sick selfie!