Memory jokes

Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.

In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.

Two girls have a sleepover.

Karen: Let's go to bed.

Lauren: Fine, but it's early.

*Karen wakes up and exits room*

*Lauren hears noise*

Mikey: You're so much better than my girlfriend, Karen.

Lauren: *laughs*

Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother, Mikey*

I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"

If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.

Elephants never forget.

I will always remember my dad's last words....

"15 dollars and I'll jump."

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"

in can re;ate to this its always going through my mind

Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."

Boy: "What's that?"

Grandpa: "What's what?"

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Di.

Di who?

See, easily forgotten.

All these jokes really hijacking my mind.

Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.

I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...

Good news is, I got one sick selfie!

I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...

Allahu Akbar!

I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.

A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm, this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm, this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."

Two boys are talking on the bus.

Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.

Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?

Boy 1: Oh, that's right.

My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.

I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”