Medicine jokes
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver π
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes time to put you under.
What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?
You die of laughter.
Memes
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
What has hands but canβt clap?
A thalidomide baby.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
I overdosed on Viagra yesterday.
It was the hardest day of my life.
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.
Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.
Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.
With great depression comes great antidepressants.
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.