What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip-off.
What was the epileptic chef’s house special?
Seizure salad.
Why did Grampa pass out? Because of diabetes.
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood.
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!
Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...
It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.
What is round and squishy? A dead baby's head.
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
What's the most expensive haircut in the world?
Chemotherapy.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.
A man gets an email from his doctor.
"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tomorrow."
The man thinks to himself, "Oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Depression medicine and therapy.
GO AWAY!
What did Freddie Mercury use to improve his hearing?
Hearing AIDS.
Q: Why do I like bone jokes so much?
A: Because they are humerus.
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."
The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"
The doctor calmly replies "Nine".
There was a guy how had a stroke, eh.
He's all right.
