What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
Medicine Jokes
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer... no stage 5.
What’s a guy with Tourette’s favorite app to use? Tiktok.
Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
Why did he go to the chiropractors?
To get his spine fixed.
What do you call a cat with a live in doctor?
An anemic, shrivelled cat with desperate attached owners.
What did the doctor say to the orphan?
"I can't help you with cancer, I'm a family doctor!"
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!
Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.
Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
Do you know what it takes to beat cancer?
Heartbeat.
"Who am I? Why am I typing?"
With great depression comes great antidepressants.
Sometime ago I went to the morgue and asked if they took walk-ins.
What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
How do you stop constipation?
You scare the crap outta them.
(Crap is another word for poop.)
Hi, welcome to Mario's pizzeria/abortion clinic.
Where no fetus can beat us, and your loss is our sauce.
