ME jokes

Me: When I saw an orphan on the street in rags.

Also me: Are you okay?

Orphan: Yeah, what gave it away?

Me: Because you have no family.

"Break me a piece of that Kit Kat bar."

My parents gave me a blowjob. It was a blowtastic time!

Me: I'ma sign up to be a clown.

My friend: Why?

Me: Because my life is a joke. 😂

My friend Arid asked me what I did over the weekend. I told him, "I read."

Get it? I read? No... ok.

Me and my friends were talking. Then we started talking about our wives. I said, "So, I married a volcano for a wife. You never know when she will blow up."

I was baking a cake when I saw some egg shell in the mix. I said, "You've got to be yolking me!"

Add me on Fortnite: Bujjj Boy.

Kid 1: "Fortnite is good and Brawl Stars sucks!"

Me: Wow, I didn't know you were dyslexic.

What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

My dad came back!

Stephen Hawking died because he got hacked by me, and the update was too strong.

Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"

The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"

He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."

Me: Imagine not having hair.

Kids: On chemo.

Bitch the fuck.

I'm deaf. My deaf ex-wife cheated on me with a guy who I met on a deaf social trip who was also deaf. I guess I didn't see the signs at the time.

There is a young lady.

She is beautiful.

She got much vote.

But she speaks very fast.

Does she think she looks smart doing that?

She makes me feel bad.

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

Me: Hey you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong.

Trashy pig woman: Why?

Me: Because you smell like fart and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.

Me and your mom in the bed.

!!️!!️HOLY FUCKING 🖕👦 SHIT!!️!!️!!️!!️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING 👩💞 AMONG 💰 US 🇺🇸 REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1 😱! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 AMONG 💑👨‍❤️‍👨👩‍❤️‍👩 US 👨 IS THE BEST 👌💯 FUCKING 💦🍆👀 GAME 🎮 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 RED 🔴 IS SO SUSSSSS 🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 COME 💦🏃🏃‍♀️ TO MEDBAY AND WATCH 👀 ME SCAN 👀 🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥 🏥🏥🏥🏥 WHY 😡🤔 IS NO ⚠🚫 ONE 1️⃣ FIXING 👾 O2 🅾 🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡 OH 🙀 YOUR 👉 CREWMATE? NAME 📛 EVERY 💯 TASK 📋 🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠 Where Any sus!❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! Any sus!❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ Any sus 🌈🏳️‍🌈! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus 🌈🏳️‍🌈 Where!❓ Where! ❓ Where!Any sus❓ ❓ Any sus 💦! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus 🌈🏳️‍🌈! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ Any sus 💦! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where!Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ I 👥 think 🤔 it was purple!👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀It wasnt me I 👁 was in vents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

Are you guys alright?

If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.

(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)