ME jokes
Hey dad, I'm hungry!
Hi hungry, I'm dad. Why did you name me this way, why why why?
I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.
Me: Knock knock.
Some dude on the street: Who's there?
Me: Whowhowho.
Dude: Whowhowho who?
Whowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowho.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.
Hi, how are you? I was busy doing something right. I just texted because me and my dad were going to.
I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.
"You gave me the same sweater as last year."
"You s w e a t e r believe it."
They call me Elsa cause I’m too icy! 🥶❄️
Why is 69 annoying me? Oh, it's a tease.
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"
You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
What did the Emo kid say to the other Emo kid?
Wait! Don’t leave me hangin’!
Chris said to me in P.E. that he likes Jacob, and he said he wants to go straight to the bedroom.
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
Why do they call it Ovaltine?
The jar is round, the mug is round, they should call it Roundtine.
True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.
This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."
He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."
You used to call me on your cellphone when you need my love.
Mad girl: SHUT UP! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! I DON'T WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE!