ME jokes

Sex

    • Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.

    I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.

    Mama

    • Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"

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    • Sister

    • You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."

    ME memes

    Knock

    • Me: Knock knock.

    Some dude on the street: Who's there?

    Me: Whowhowho.

    Dude: Whowhowho who?

    Whowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowho.

    Mirror

    • Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.

    Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?

    Stupid

    • I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."

    I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."

    He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."

    Friend

    • My friend: Yo stupid.

    Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?

    My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*

    Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.

    Sister

    • My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.

    Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.

    Eyebrow

    • Bitch: Nice eyebrows.

    Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?

    Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)