ME jokes
Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.
My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!
The joke is me.
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? What, are you kidding me? I just wanted to tell you a joke!
Hey mylady.
Hey bro.
Me mylady.
Me a bro.
Me: Hi Kallen.
Kallen: Hi.
Me: You're too big to fit in my car.
My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
Friend texting fat boy: I know you're on the group chat. I can see you looking at my texts.
Me: I can only see fat.
Boss: Can I do a reference check?
Me: I don’t have a...
*sensei appears*
Me: oh no
Sensei: He was a good student, but he lacked kizma.
Boss: What's kiz...
Sensei:😈
Me: Oh no, here we go.
Sensei: Kizma AS-
Me: uses the crucifix.
Rush: Ahahahahahahæanananana!
What did the toaster say to the bread?
"I want you inside me!"
Once Roblox popped up in my server, be like, "Roblox, what are you doing?"
Me: "What the heck?" Me: "How did I get in your server?"
Roblox: "You've been banned for just cheating!"
I love the word legs.
Wanna help me spread the word?
They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.
One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?
Me: I broke me bum.
Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.
Me, (DYM 131)