ME jokes

There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.

They always make me cry.

Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."

I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.

Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.

Whoever said that about me better pray!

"Ketchup with me, you are too slow."

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."

When I have a staring contest, I always win.

Every day, I see blind people who hate me.

I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.

I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.

Engineer: I know engineering, and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!

Biologist: I know biology, and your gut instinct is full of shit.

Yo hair so big it took me weeks to find the needle in it.

Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!

My friend's mom: Why you bully me?

Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.

I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.

What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.

Want to hear a joke, huh?

Me........

Me.

The joke is as short as me.

Me: I know how to use a microwave!

Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!

True story.

She'd suck my dick and let me suck her tits.