ME jokes
Me. I am the joke.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
Teacher: Why were you late?
Me: Traffic.
Teacher: Did I did it?
Me: Did I even blame it on you?
My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.
The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family.
Me: yep they definitely have one 100% 💯
Good that you got detention because you said that to me; you should've gone to jail.
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
What did the orphan poker player say to the elder?
“Will you raise me?”
Figure: Who wants to play hide and seek?
Seek and Hide: Me.
Figure: Ok, Seek, you're it. Me and Hide will hide.
Seek: Why do I have to be the seeker?
Figure: Because your name is in seeker.
9/11 jokes just don't fly around me.
9/11 jokes just don't hit right with me.
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."
Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.
Orphan: Asks you random joke. What is the difference between my boomerang and my parents?
Me: The boomerang came back.
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middle school.