ME jokes
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.
My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will have dialogue.”
Memes
My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.
I read a quote about the Twin Towers that hit me like a plane.
My doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15. Problem solved!
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.
I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
"Fuck me right in the balls, you dirty cow!"
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Worst joke ever: me and my user.
The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family.
Me: yep they definitely have one 100% 💯
Hello, everybody, it's me, Mariplier, and today I'm going to be balling at Freddy's!
9/11 jokes just don't fly around me.
9/11 jokes just don't hit right with me.
Me rn: "Yo yo yo, for pre-K I went to K.I.S.S. a school."
My friend: "What is K.I.S.M.A.?"
Me: "K.I.S.M.A. balls!"