ME jokes
9/11 jokes just don't hit right with me.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
Orphan: Asks you random joke. What is the difference between my boomerang and my parents?
Me: The boomerang came back.
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
Figure: Who wants to play hide and seek?
Seek and Hide: Me.
Figure: Ok, Seek, you're it. Me and Hide will hide.
Seek: Why do I have to be the seeker?
Figure: Because your name is in seeker.
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middle school.
My friend: Hey, I got 15 kills!
Me: I got 60 kills!
My friend: I didn't know you played Call of Duty!
Me: What's Call of Duty?
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.
Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.
Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.
Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family.
Me: yep they definitely have one 100% 💯
Imagine this whole “Dr. Strange jokes” is just full of people simping over him.
Couldn’t Be Me.
What's an orphan's favorite game to play on Roblox? The game Adopt Me.
Good that you got detention because you said that to me; you should've gone to jail.
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.