ME jokes

Food

    • There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.

    Cow

    • A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

    “Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

    Dad

    • What's the difference between me and my mate...

    I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.

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    • Wish

    • "Give me 5 cents and I’ll grant you a wish."

    Ok.

    "Thank you, what is your wish?"

    I wish for my 5 cents back.

    ME memes

    Drone

    • Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?

    What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?

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    • Risk

    • My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.

    I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.

    Child

    • My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."

    Cat

    • Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.

    I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.

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    • Inch

    • Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?

    Bryce: What?

    Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!

    P.S. I'm a girl.

    Parody

    • So I made a parody for "Me, Myself, and I." It goes like this: "Me, Myself, and I, I'm gonna drink bleach until I die!"