ME jokes

The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!

I got up one day; my neighbor was in my house and was going to take me and my mom out. I showed my mom and my neighbor a trick. They both liked it. I asked my neighbor, "Do you know any tricks?" He said, "Yes, in matter of fact, I could tell you what your mom had for breakfast." I said, "How?" Well, my neighbor licked my mom's ass and ate her pussy out in front of me. He told me my mom had pancakes. So we were in the car; I asked my neighbor, "How did you know what my mom had pancakes for breakfast?" My neighbor said, "Well, that is what your mom made me while we were waiting for you to get up."

Me.

The joke is me.

POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE: I wanna be the berry best, like no one ever was.

To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel across the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to under-strand, the lower that's in psyche.

Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a world you must de-blend, Poke him on!

Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!!

Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all!

Poke him on!

Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I'm not really sure what to do, so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing, so hope you enjoy, and you don't have to read this!

So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise, and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars, which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff, but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do, and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y'all!!!

I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.

Teacher: Why did you throw paper airplanes at the twin sisters?

Me: You wouldn't get it.

There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"

The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

Riddle me this. Riddle me that.

Why did my parents never come back?

Me: Why do you need to use shampoo when you are already bald? 🤣

I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful, like cyanide.

Moxxie: ThEy CaLlEd Me A pOsSuM!! i'M nOt A pOsSuM!!

A Souls fan raped me. He said, "Try finger, but hole."

Knock knock, who's there? God.

God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!

I went to the store the other day and scanned an emo's arm.

It gave me a discount!

What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me.

Imagine being emo.

Couldn't be me.

So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.

My dad starts laughing at me.

Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”

Me: “Why dad?”

Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”

A 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. Her: "Crap! My mom is going to kill me!"

The fetus: "lol same here."

Me: Why am I an orphan?

Friend: I don't know.

Me: Ask your mom.