ME jokes
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.
I guess they're whore-ible.
Dumb person: Wat idk mean?
Person 1: I don’t know.
Dumb one: Oh u don’t know okie I ask Googol.
Person 1: Wait idk means--
Dumb one (to Googol): WAT DOS IDK MANNN?
Googol: I don’t know.
Dumb one: OH ME GOOOD EVEN GOGLO DOESYN KNOWWW
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
My friends told me to stop making suicide jokes, so I hanged on.
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
HARHARHAR
Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?
Me: Because I love miners!
Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.
Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3
Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
My Wife: How much do you love me??
Me: Count all the stars.
My Wife: Aww, infinity.
Me: No, a waste of time.
This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.
I love trash bags because they remind me of my heart... black.
Person: You're so ugly.
Me: You ugly.
Person: I'm not a mirror.
Me: And I'm not your reflection.
People: (arguing about stopping orphan jokes since they aren't funny).
Me: (m e h. i d o n t c a r e)
I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.
What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?... You crack me up.
My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.
What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."