ME jokes
Random person: "Just turn the page and start over."
Me: "I'm not sure if you're telling me to be gay or uhhhh die but both are good options."
Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.
My mother didn't want me to love my sister. That made me angry. But then, one day I found this quote: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Since that day, I fuck my sister hard and my MOM harder!
I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.
So 666-3629, so get it?
My name is Mr. Cheese, but your jokes are cheesier than me!
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.
Police: Where do you live? Blonde: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Blonde: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Blonde: Together. Police: Where is your house? Blonde: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Blonde: If I tell you, you won't believe me. Police: Tell me. Blonde: Next to my house.
Well, a lock and a key were going on vacation, but the key said, "Help me, I'm stuck!" and then the lock said, "I think I am in lock-shary."
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
Bully: Gina, why are you such a whore?
Gina: Because they hit me on the ass!
Bully: Yuh, that must be nice!
Gina: Hmmm...
Gina: Wanna???
Bully: 😍😍😍...sexy ass ever!
Bully 🖐🏻🍑
Gina😊
I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.
A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.
The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"
The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"
The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."
Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."
Off the nearby cliff.
Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......
What did the kid say to the emo?
"Don't leave me hanging!"
DON’T READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED SETTLERS OF CATAN!
“Wheat is going on?” I asked my godmother. She replied “Godson, I really don’t know, but could you please get me some m-ore Shloer?”
“Ok, I’ll sheep if there’s any in the fridge!”