ME jokes

I'm bored. If you want to friend me in Roblox, my username is Talitha95g and my nickname is talithafromamirica.

If possible, I refrain from brunching celebrities. My path is smooth. The table receives the branching.

When I arrived at my friend's house and, after a long time, I was given permission to pick from the branches and graze the dog, I agreed. Then the work begins. "No, no money," I replied, "that's why I'm a burden to the world that hurts me."

And when I told them, they told me and said they were there. If I had a job, I would be fired on the first day for bad behavior. The best solution is to avoid this situation.

Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.

Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.

Abbie: I had sex with dad.

Mom: Go die in a hole!

Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*

No one:

Literally no one:

Me: Time to make his life hell.😈

Me: I'm retarded.

Teacher: Why?

Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."

I have 25 friends from the alphabet, but don't ask me why.

"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.

"Give me the good news first," the patient said.

"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."

"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"I've been trying to reach you for two days."

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.

A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.

So, I was at the gas station drinking a Slurpee when I heard an old lady start talking to me. She says, "Hey, can you check my balance?" so she could buy a chocolate bar.

So, I pushed her over and said, "Not much."

Cousin: Hahaha, I am their biological parent.

Kid: So what? At least they love me more.

Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.

Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?

Where is this pic of me in my bra?

Me: Are you an alien?

Friend: No.

Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.

"I think my baby is so similar to me!"

"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"

It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.

Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."

"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."

Me: Can I have your chair? 💺 You: Why? Me: For charity.

If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.

Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.

Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶