ME jokes

"Let it go, LET IT GO!" Blah blah blah whatever the rest of the song says dun dun blah blah blah my mom never bothered me anyway.

I'm bored 😴 so that's why I sang in my wonderful voice for a few seconds and wasted your time.

The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."

The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."

What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her?

They’re both thinking, “Oh, shit, my mum’s gonna kill me!”

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"

I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"

I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.

Yesterday, a guy threw a liter of milk at me.

How dairy!

Guy: Are you depression? 'Cause you're crippling me.

Car driver: No, I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you.

Guy: Don't worry, I was already crippled because I got crippling depression.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!

What’s the difference between me and grass? Grass doesn’t cut itself.

So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.

My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.

My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.

I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.

What did the parents say to the orphans?

"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"

EVERYONE:

"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"

If anyone can see Alya KUHL please tell me! I love and miss her...

There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.

The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

The teacher says, "That's right."

The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

"That's right," the teacher says.

The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.

This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.

But, it's like a plane pizza.

Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.

Me. I am the joke.