ME jokes

Earthquake

    • One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.

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    • Death

    • You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

    Sex

    • Leave a like if you like sex and porn, and talk to me if you have any questions.

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    • Part

    • Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.

    Drug

    • D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!

    Me: My therapist says I need those to live.

    D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_

    Dad

    • One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.

    Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.

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    • Hairline

    • Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.

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