ME jokes
I was playing a tennis match against a girl and said, "I will fuck you up." She said, "Try me." So that's exactly what I did, and I won by forfeit as she ended up running away crying.
Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.
Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.
Me: How do you know that?
"Me lava you sooo much, cutie cake. I know I'm so so so cuteee. Lava you girl... ummmma ummmaaa. I know where you liveee kutty."
"Me so cutie right?"
herishy, my little sissy dont report me.
Did you fart, cause you blew me away?
One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.
Elementary school kids: School is fun.
Me: Yeah, yeah, just keep believing that.
"Meow, meow, woof, woof." That's what animals say to me when I die.
For Charlie D'Amelio fans, my basement is your home now. Leave a like if you agree with me.
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Friend: Why?
Me: Because they don't have a mother or father's day.
Leave a like if you like sex and porn, and talk to me if you have any questions.
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.