Match jokes
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!
- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!
Better than Elanga?
Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
I was shopping for a halloween costume, but once we got to the ghost section all of the costumes were out of stock! It turned out Pristiano Penaldo was buying them all! I came up to him and asked why he was doing this and he said: I’m sorry, but it’s match day, I must be a ghost 👻👻
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
Memes
The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
LewenGOALski
What do you call two Mexicans playing ping pong? Juan on Juan.
Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. $12.99 from Ikea.
The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until it's too light to light.
What burns up a football stadium?
A football match.
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?
I wanna kick some balls!
🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵
C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
Gotta dive and cry some more.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.
Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.
Why can't orphans play football?
Because they can't be on the home team.
Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.
And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.