Match jokes
Does that dick match that forehead? 👀
How does a rapper like his eggs?
Hard-boiled, to match his beats!
LewenGOALski
Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. $12.99 from Ikea.
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.
As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!
- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!
Better than Elanga?
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
I Googled "How to start a Wildfire." It gave me 28,452 matches.
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
Why can't orphans play football?
Because they can't be on the home team.
One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, “Put a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.” But when the teacher marked Little Johnny's papers, she asked why he put the word "bank" in every slot. And he says, “Well teacher, you said to put a word from the word bank and that's one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!”
And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.
Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.
Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😡😡😡