Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!
- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!
Better than Elanga?
I was shopping for a halloween costume, but once we got to the ghost section all of the costumes were out of stock! It turned out Pristiano Penaldo was buying them all! I came up to him and asked why he was doing this and he said: I’m sorry, but it’s match day, I must be a ghost 👻👻
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. $12.99 from Ikea.
What do you call two Mexicans playing ping pong? Juan on Juan.
LewenGOALski
Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.
And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.
The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until it's too light to light.
What burns up a football stadium?
A football match.
What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?
I wanna kick some balls!
🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵
C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
Gotta dive and cry some more.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.
Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
Why can't orphans play football?Because they can't be on home team
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
