(amazing pick up line) yoo what if we got matching tattoos u get 2 towers and i get a plane, Bc i crashed right into ur life ;)
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o clock on new years. First kill of the match
22. Give a man a match, and heβll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. 24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back. 31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
MISSING MISSING!!! π’π’
NAME: PRUNO PENANDES ππ€
MISSING: 27/6/21 VS BELGIUM π€π€
LAST SEEN: DIVING AT OLD TRAFFORD, CRYING TO REFEREESπ€¬πΏ
POSSIBLE LOCATIONS: PENALTY SPOTπ₯
"GIVE ME PENALTYβπ€¬π€¬
"I ONLY STATPAD AGAINST FARMERS MY FRIEND"ππ
1.) Whatβs Yellow And Canβt Swim? - A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? - he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words... - βyouβre still holding the ladder right?β 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance... - only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours... - lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
And there the referee taking down Ronaldo's number. Not really the time or the place but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.
What did the spectator miss when going to the toilet?
The entire english innings
I wrote a book called Endless Love
Itβs about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller
how do you make a cat say woof? you cover it in petrol and light a match.
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
Sometimes I think back on all the people Iβve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide
Give a man a match, and heβll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and heβll be warm for the rest of his life.
You donβt need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Iβll never forget my fatherβs last words to me just before he died: βAre you sure you fixed the brakes?β
Why do orphans hate playing sports in school? Because they never get picked
Russia vs Ukraine is ultimate csgo match ever!
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
The teacher asked a young boy in primary school "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
To which the boy replies "No"
The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet.
At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
"Shut up" she replied
The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks "Can you teach me the alphabet?"
But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet.
But his brother is singing "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet.
But his sister is singing "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet.
The boy replies "Shut up."
"Alright, I'm sending you to the principal's office right now."
The boy replies "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
In the office, the principal says "who do you think you are?"
The boy replies "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The principal now says "how do you think you'll get away with this?"
The boy them replies "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why do they call matches, matches?
They all look the same.
me, smashes mouse after losing a match, everybody at the pet race: :O
It was a important knockout game for Al Nassr π₯ I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play, It was my dream for a long time π€© I took a cab to the stadium but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead π As soon as I entered the house I saw a ghostβ οΈ but the very next moment I realized its my idolo Ronaldo π₯³ Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me πβ₯οΈ
