New Match Jokes

Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.

Midget: Hey! What’s up?

Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!

What game do emo kids love the most?

Hangman.

Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.

I saw two guys wearing matching clothing and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.

Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.

Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

How does a rapper like his eggs?

Hard-boiled, to match his beats!

I wrote a book called Endless Love

It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller

Why do they call matches, matches?

They all look the same.

I Googled "How to start a Wildfire." It gave me 28,452 matches.

Does that dick match that forehead?👀

On September 11th, 2001, the New York Giants lost against the Jets.

What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?

They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.

It was a important knockout game for Al Nassr 🔥 I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play, It was my dream for a long time 🤩 I took a cab to the stadium but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead 😔 As soon as I entered the house I saw a ghost☠️ but the very next moment I realized its my idolo Ronaldo 🥳 Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me 😭♥️

how do you make a cat say woof? you cover it in petrol and light a match.

Why are Indians so good at football?

Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.

I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.

I found a lot of matches.

Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😡😡😡