What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?
You cook spaghetti with his blood!
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?
Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.
Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.
And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...
Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."
The Virgin Mary wasn't a virgin; she was a prostitute. God raped her.
What did Mother Mary say when God farted? Jesus Christ, you stink!
I caught a cold, Mary Earp caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane.
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”
Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...
And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.
Cool, new word of the day: Marijuana.
“Does Marry wanna smoke a joint?”
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried totouch it that night, next day I went to court.
The Britain’s walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad they ask Mary the mum why she had blood all over her and she said someone dropped the butter they walked into the living room and Thomas was dead on the floor
Q: Why are orphans so scared to get married?
A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.
Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?
Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?
Friend 1: Nope, guess again!
Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...
Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D
What is the favorite drink of a vampire? bloody mary
What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?
Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.
What do you call Mary Berry when she’s on holiday?
A Cake By The Ocean.
