One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate' "
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus so he asks his class, “where is Jesus today?”
Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven”
Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart”
Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”
The teacher says, “how do you know this?”
Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bang on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?”
Why did Mary have a little lamb 🐑? Because a big one was too much in bed.
Whats a cannibal's favourite drink? A Bloody mary
Mary had a little lamb chick chick bam no more lamb
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing? Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
Mary: If you born pikin (Child) inside shop wetin you go call that pikin(child) Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop
Mary is hanging out and the angel Gabriel descends behind her and she looks behind her and says Jesus Christ and the angel Gabriel said so you already know
You know how in the movie nightmare before christmas they say making Christmas
I thought mary a josphe did but ok
Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie... And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!". I immediately stopped watching changed the channel
Cool, new word of the day: Marijuana. “Does Marry wanna smoke a joint?”
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried totouch it that night, next day I went to court.
Mary's mother was a good person why did she die? -because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade
The Britain’s walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad they ask Mary the mum why she had blood all over her and she said someone dropped the butter they walked into the living room and Thomas was dead on the floor
Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: super cauliflower, eggs but cheese was quite atrocious. (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)
What is the favorite drink of a vampire? bloody mary
Why did Mary fall off the swings? She got hit by a refrigerator
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies, "No". Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school." Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" She replies, "No." Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school." After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" His mom says "No." He asks, "Do you know what I think?" His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?" He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
Mary had a little lamb Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human
3 vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks “a Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea”
