Many jokes

How many fingers am I holding up?

Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Trick question, feminists don't change anything.

I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.

How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.

There are 30 cows in a field, 28 chickens. How many didn't?

A - 10

How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.

Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.

How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?

None, it's all tongue and groove...

Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.

Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?

Because there were too many knights.

Why are so many Americans stupid? Because they shoot the ones that go to school.

How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just beat the room for being black.

There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."