Man jokes
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good? Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
What happened when the man died? Yes.
My wiener's small.
Sike, I lied. I like big black men.
How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?
Skelesore.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe. He holds air hostage.
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.
Hey Ryan, what do you call a wall so large no man can conquer?
Answer: Ryan's forehead.
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Why is an orphan's favorite movie Spider-Man: No Way Home?
What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?
At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.
A man entered the bank branch and asked the teller to withdraw his account balance. The teller debited his account and gave the man all his money. Then the man counted the money and asked the teller to deposit it back into his account.
The teller asked the man why he withdrew the money and deposited it back. Then the man replied, "I wanted to make sure all my money is safe and tallies with my records."
Lol
The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.
There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved
*bowl of dark grapes*
Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men.
Friend 2: Black? Good one.
Friend 1: 21 at a time.