Man jokes
Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁
What do you call 6 gay men in WW2?
Rainbow Six Siege.
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.
What's a cannibal's favorite snack?
Men toes! 😂🤣
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"
God replies, "So she would love you..."
My grandad killed Hitler. He was such a great man!
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.
Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?
"Freak out!"
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
What's better, a woman or a man?
Neither, for I am WHITE.
Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."