Man jokes
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close the casket.
Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.
The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.
Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"
Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."
My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."
I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.
Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!
I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!
I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."
What is an orphan's favorite naval film?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
Women be like men are trash, [but] forgets women raised those men.
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.
Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.
A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.
After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.
And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"
God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"
What's more sensitive than a pushy?
A Western man on the internet.
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months?
He lost May.