Flag of Congo - Kinshasa @osowxvyy I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! i wanted to save him but a local stopped me. “that’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!
My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch. “Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said “Son. That is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games".
Little Johnny was staying at his grandparents house and he asked his grampa can I a cigarette and his grampa said well can your dick touch your asshole he said no. Then that's your answer. A little bit later little Johnny asked for a beer his grampa said well can you dick touch your asshole he said a I already said no. Well that your. Later he was complaining to his grandma and she him cookies. His grandpa came up to him and said can I have a cookie little Johnny said well can your dick touch your asshole his grampa said well yes it can and little Johnny said well go fuck yourself old man because these are my cookies.
kids- its time for dora kids-YAY nick jr host- today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma Swiper- hello kids i am trying to find my way to Diego's will you please help me Kids- where's dora Swiper- she's under cardiac arrest kids - poor dora Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING Swiper - AH MAN!!
A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”
Today we had the best adventure ever! We started playing in the yard and doing ramps in a party van! It all started when Timmy and I were playing in the yard and a white rusty van drove up to our yard. A nice man told us to get in. We said we would love to go but our mommies wouldn't want us to go. The man said your mommies told me it was OK to come. We hopped in the back and sped away super fast! The man gave us some candy, but Timmy and I were not hungry, so we didn't eat it. We saved it for later. After a while, I was wondering where we were going. I was about to ask the man, but then there was a whooping sound and some flashing blue lights! ̈Hey they want to party with us! ̈Timmy yelled over the whooping. ̈Party van! ̈I yelled. Timmy and I started dancing and whooping and the van began driving faster, doing crazy race car stunts, and jumps! Then we noticed the lights and whooping were coming from some cars that were following us. The cars were black and white and said ̈P O L I C E” on the side. We started to wave to them, but then the van did a HUGE jump and we flew out of the back of the van to the side of the road into some dirt, but it didn't really hurt that much. The van drove off without us, and I was really sad. Then Timmy told me the dirt was perfect for making mud pies. I was happy again. We played in the dirt awhile, until some people dressed like firefighters found us and brought us home. And then you asked me what happened. ̈Isn’t that right mommy? ̈
chinese wise man once say, "ching chong ling long ting tong"
which means, "keep striving in life"
Guys my girlfriend calls me: 911 help there’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!
She’s so nice
I'm just gonna say it. And don't get offended but I'm so sick of the media bieng on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male.
Yes women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth etc.
But men have it pretty hard too if not harder. Males are criticised for showing emotions.
Men have to go to war on the front lines.
Boys have less support from their friends because showing any emotion is a sign of weakness.
Boys have to wear trousers in schools where they practically burn to death in summer meanwhile girls get to wear dresses and skirts. And now we hear girls complaining about them not being allowed to wear trousers. Yet we haven't ever heard anything about boys protesting about wearing shorts to school. It's because no one will take a man's protest seriously because the media is always against the men.
Man-rape is unheard of in the media and I've never seen anything in any form of news accusing a woman as a rapist.
We are expected to gather up our guts ask a girl to be their girlfriend, we have to take them on dates, pay the bill, buy them gifts when the girls never do anything like that for us males. We have to get a job while they put on makeup and go out with their friends and spend 3 months worth of the money the man has made.
And the women say we only rape women and that we restrict women from doing certain things like fighting in world wars.
It's because most males do not want females to get hurt. Yet we are criticised for this.
I propose a idea that on the 19 of September every year (until we get the point across) all males do not go to work. etc.
Whose going to put out all the fires? The two fire'women' at the local fire station. Who is going to work in the major corporations? The secretary's and the receptionist?
Women are always saying that the world will be a better place if they're are no men around. Let's show them how wrong they are.
(this event can be done worldwide)
Share this with as many people who still believe in the rights of the males.
(I'm not against feminism it's just that everything in the media is about some stupid problem women are complaining about + hatred for males everywhere.
But I think that nowadays women have more rights than men because they can wear what they want, do what they want and never get criticised or face any consequences.)
AKELD SOUNDS LIKE A 56 YEAR OLD MAN JUST PICKING ON KIDS FOR NO REASON I SAY GET A LIFE
#1 Man : pretend your age is a level, I am Level 20
#2 Man : My son Died at level 4
#1 : Lol, Your son is a noob
Man: Hey kids, who wants milk?
Kids: Me!
Man: *unzips fly*
A kid and a man is walking into a forest at night, Kid "Mr, its getting dark, I'm scared!" Man "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone"
A woman goes to buy a parrot There is one for 200, 500, and one for 15 bucks she asks why the last one is so cheap The man at the counter say "It used to live in a brothel/sex house" The lady buys it anyway When she gets home it say fuck me a new brothel when her daughters get home it says fuck me 2 new prozzies when the father gets home the parrot says fuck me daryl, havent see you in the brothel in weeks
Me: I named my dog Five Miles so I can tell people I walk five miles every day.
Old man: I ran over five miles today.
Gwen is a 40 year old man I think
Man we all have the one cool sibling then the strong sibling and then you the one who plays on there iPad on computer all day then when you are on vacation you are doing nothing at all
Sorry man but I got to say one thing you know when a bully in a movie walks you to you then they walk up to yiu and they smell you and say what are you doing
Ok ok so. One I ever I was on the way home and this kid said man I could kick your but five seconds later I kick his but
a fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly a physicist saw it and said thats not how law of conservation of mass works plot twist the fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong now the physicist doesnt have mass
