Man

Man jokes

Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?

Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!

He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.

Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society.

Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.

When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"

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    • All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.

    The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"

    The man said, "My wife does!"

    If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.

    I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.

    As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"

    A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"

    "Africa," the parrot replied.

  • 2

    • An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."

    He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"

    He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."

    How it be when the new guy takes too long...

    Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.

    Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.

    Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.

    Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.

    Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

    A fat man coming in the store.

    Waiter: Oh god, not again :|

    Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.

    Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?

    Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?

    Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?

    Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.

    Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.

    Father: Now you know.