Man jokes
Why do more women than men oppose abortion? Because they prefer not to get raped.
Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.
If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.
I dunno man, worked for me.
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
A wise man once told me: "If you poke the bear in prison, the bear will happily return the favor when it's time to shower."
I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.
Neil before me.
Me: Do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?
Bank teller: [eyes wide] Uhhhhh...
Me: *scratches head with gun* Man, I hate it when this happens.
What do you get when you cross a Jamaican with a ginger?
A gingerbread man.
So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."
Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"
Why is the white man in prison scarier than the black one?
The white one actually did it!
It's really funny, read through everything slowly.
Say "I'm a man" after everything I say.
I went to the bar. "I'm a man." You saw this woman. "I'm a man." You guys married. "I'm a man." You guys bought a house. "I'm a man." You guys went to bed. "I'm a man," you said. "I'm a man," she said. "I'm a man."
What is gayer than man sex ring?
Not slapping the ass at Hooters.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?
Panera bread serving food.