Man jokes
The man says, "Can you hump me?" So the other boy says, "Bro bro bro bro bro."
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
Why did the man go across the train tracks to get to the other side?
Why did the man get on the bus to get sussy?
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.
What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
She asked:
"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
I told this man to rev his vehicle.
Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"
The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"
What does a blind man and a PS4 have in common?
They both need to make sounds to be recognized.
Why is the blind man so close to the door?
He can't see it.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"