Man jokes
"You get no bitches," said the man to the 60-year-old redneck virgin guy who is obese and balding with "Trump" stuff plastered all over his pickup truck.
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm.
"This place looks scary," the kid said.
And the man replies, "I know right, I have to walk out of there alone."
Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?
The seventh door.
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.
Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it.
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
Why is football the gayest sport ever? Because it's just a bunch of sweaty men tackling each other.
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"
And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."
Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
What do orphans and Spider-Man have in common?
They both have no way home.
Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!
But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3
Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?
Sure, man. I. H. O. P.
Wait, you ate my pee!!!
Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣